Where Did the "Me" Go?

I can see it happening to me. Gone are the days of "never ending" youth. I watch as my body obeys the laws of nature. To accept it is wise. So, that is my trade off; youth for wisdom.

I find myself wanting the youthful look of my twenties. I even feel sad that I will never recapture that. Now, I am in my mid-thirties. When I am forty-five what will I want to take back from my thirties?

Trying to hold on to youth is like trying to stop the seasons from turning into another.

Going someplace else in my mind today...

On days like today my memories are treasures; gifts really. They may not always be in the front of my thoughts, but they are there waiting to be recalled. I guess you could survive just about any hardship with a large stash of happy memories.

Life can be bitter...but life was sweet today!

Really wish that I had a recorder at church today. Allison will be turning twelve this week. She is excited but apprehensive at the same time. She said that she will no longer be the oldest in Primary, but the youngest in Young Womens. Welcome to your new life Allison....:)  She bore a sweet testimony today also. She said she was looking forward to drawing closer to the Lord. And that this new step in her life would help her do that. I am happy and proud of the young lady she is becoming.

Parenting: My Take on Things Thus Far

My journey into parenthood began with the birth of my daughter almost 12 years ago. Was I ready? No. Did I have the means and ability? Yes.

Those early years were some very important and precious years. "Milk Years"; yes, that is what I will call them and not just for the obvious reason. As a parent, I can see, I have grown through increments of time and stages of life. One sweet or painful experience at a time. But these beginning experiences were only the "milk" that would "nourish" me; prepare me for the next set of stages. As newborns can only consume the gentle life giving nutrients of milk. For reasons I do not fully understand, so too, parents can only start with the mostly simple mundane tasks of caring for an infant and toddler.  At this stage we do not yet know what the "Meat" of parenthood will be like. So for those first years we consume  only the mildness of the "Milk".

Allison is our first born. She is the sibling "guinea pig".  We experience every new change that goes on with a child through her first. I wonder sometimes what that might feel like for her. She is now entering a new stage. Middle school + turning 12 yrs. old, as I recall, is a very big jump to make within the years of adolesence. She might in her mind wish for the more simpler days of kindergarten field trips and recess after lunch. When I see the changes and difficulties she is starting to face I can recall a little of my own feelings that I had at that stage in my life. Though now as a parent, I feel I am no longer drinking the "Milk", but am now tasting the tougher consistentsy of the "Meat". Now that I have entered what I now call "Real Parenting" I now find myself, at times, summoning up the memories I have of swimming in the creek, picking blackberries, running through the woods experiencing the first joys and sweetnesses of life. To put it as simply as I can; this new stage of parenting is hard.

The only solace that I am hanging onto now at this stage of parenting is, yes, I have the ability and I remember the words of my Father: Heatherly, no one passes with an 'A'.

Completely Blessed

What more could I ask for? (Climate of Texas aside) This is what I am thankful for tonight........ I am mastering, in due time, the art of making bread. Goodbye store bought bread! Homemade is one-hundred times better. We have a little garden that is actually producing. What a miracle to behold: planting a tiny seed and watching how it grows. I feel like I had very little to do with this whole process. I only made a nice spot for it to grow and the miracle took place. I have moon flowers vining in the backyard, which have the most beautiful smell. We even have a toad that hangs around our house at night to catch the bugs. There is life here in Texas after all!

Our new neighborhood friend.

This is the moon flower. It blooms at night and

has a surprising beautiful smell. It blooms so fast that you can stand there and watch it open up.

My homemade bread. First attempt at white sandwich bread. It tasted great. I think I will keep this recipe.

Still Walking

I am thankful for many things this Sabbath day. I am learning and growing in many different ways lately. Life throws things at me but I feel confident enough to conquer them all. I feel like I am holding a bat and I am hitting all the balls that get thrown at me. Before, I would have just lied down and quit when things got too hard. Everything was too hard it seemed. Here is my strategy now: Faith; I know that if keep walking (overcoming the hardships, trials and taking my battle scars with me and move on) and keeping faith that the Savior promised he would always pick up what I could not carry myself.

Oh how thankful I am for our Savior who makes it possible for me to carry on in this wonderful and often difficult life.

A Proud Moment.....

Today is a great day already. Aside from the fact that I have made it to 34, my oldest daughter, who is now fast becoming a moody teenager held the door open for her little sister as they went into school. This may seem a simple enough task, but for weeks Allison would run into the school with Emily running to catch up behind her, this is due to  Emily always, without fail, taking the time to give me a kiss and tell me she loves me before getting out of the van.....So, trying to instill good manners in my children, I have reminded Allison on several occations to hold the door for the running little sister behind her. Today I caught a glimpes of Allison remembering , a split second before Emily got to the door, to go back and hold it open for her. Allison gave me a knowing look and she saw my smile and thumbs up. The little things......I love them....best birthday gift.

A Poem About the Titanic by Allison Ricks

Why did so many have to die?
Not as many silent good-byes.
Aboard the Titanic they forever lie,
Buried in other's sorry demise.
Shaking, breaking, the unsinkable did fall.
Only Carpathia aswered the call.
Before, they were all just dandy and fine; all up celebrating, some getting ready to dine.
We sink! We sink slowly, but surely.
Get all children and women, but hurry!
People panic, tensions rise in the air.
The salty-cold water sings the song of despair.
People freezing, people scared.
People call out but no one is there.
A depressing story this tale did tell.
In our hearts this memory will dwell.
Even though some people don't care, the sorrow they had is ours to share.

Happiness Can't Be Bottled Up and Kept For Another Day, But Every Day We Can Create Happiness

Today I am just plain grateful. I have been given soo much temporally and spiritually.

We had our area Stake Conference today that was seen via satellite from Salt Lake City, UT. It was a nice meeting. At one point President Monson's daughter was speaking. She was talking about smiling and being happy. A picture of President Monson came on the screen displaying a large grin. I started to think about his smile. It is simple. If I do not live righteously I deny myself the kind of happiness that brings that kind of smile.

I feel like I am just learning how to live. Really live. Living, to me, now means patiently wading through the difficult times, being able to enjoy the good times, and then look back and appreciate the difficult times.

Our House with an Upgrade

Scenerio: we are moving to the house right across from us which has the same layout as our first. I will no longer have the cold, sterile hospital looking floors throughout my house any more....Yeah!!
Before..........

Blahh

After.......

Yeah!

It's the simple things in life...........

A Reality Learned Again

Today I was reminded that evil is very real; just as real as goodness and righteousness. Any shade of evil is still evil and the only place I can control it is in my home. Do I monitor that diligently enough?  Are there really even shades of evil? I am reminded today that there is not.

Yesterday I was browsing through Netflix to find and instant streaming documentary to watch with Jared.  We were looking in the "science" category.  As we started browsing, a few choices popped up. Among the many choices was one with pretty much a sex scene for the cover picture. Jared turned away and shielded his eyes. I immediately thought....ok that is just one, Jared just stay turned until I get passed it.

Today I realize anew that it is up to me and Vaun to make our home an evil free environment. Today I feel ashamed that I ever allowed that picture to come across my son's view and feel a stronger responsibility to keep my home spiritually safe. Neither Jared nor anyone else in our home should ever have to shield their eyes or turn their heads from anything that takes place or that is presented in our home.

In the world's eyes there are many shades of evil, but to all truth, goodness and light their is just one.

My Thought Today is...Life is Good!

So we are moving........to the house right across from us. This is something to be excited about. No more military hospital like laminate tiles. We have carpet in our near future plus some upgrades.

On a side note. Vaun and I have been trying to concieve a fourth child. We have a habit of getting pregnant in January's. Could this be that lucky January??? Hmmm. We shall see.

I've Been Cooking....... Plus a Cooking Challenge

This is the best baked Mac & Cheese I have tasted thus far..(even rivals Mark's).
By Alton Brown/FoodNetwork
http://www.foodnetwork.com/food/cda/recipe_print/0,1946,FOOD_9936_18422_PRINT-RECIPE-4X6-CARD,00.html

The Challenge.......
If you want a "grown up" soup that is healthy plus delicious....Go to your local library retrieve the book The Healthy Kitchen :by Andrew Weil, MD and Rosie Daley..... Turn to the Soups section and find "Mexican Chicken Soup" I dare you....

Today Was a Good Day

Since everyone was out of school and work we.......
Jared was in charge of family home evening. We practiced our family fire drill plan. We crawled and rolled on the floor. Jared had us doing several different scenerios.One scenerio was "There is fire all around the outside of the house. What do we do?!!!" Funny.

We went to Braums to get our favorite ice creams and milk shakes and carried them with us to Friendship Park in Burkbrunett. We threw the football, kicked the soccor ball, sat by the pond and watched, harrassed, and fed the ducks, (the kids and Vaun) rolled down a hill, and then we all raced up the hill. I got tired of losing so Vaun suggested that we balance, which is something I can do,so I agreed. We stood in line on the slope of the hill, stood on one leg. I'm sure we must have been a funny sight to others passing by, but I was satisfied. We wound up the day in a large canal running up and down the edges. Good times. I kicked myself for forgetting my camera.

Random...Emily likes to create things.Today it was a "rainbow" in the form of a paper ribbon. She was dancing with it and this is what I caught.

After Christmas Blues

In my case it is "kids are back in school" blues. This happens to me after summer break also. I love what I do as a mother and I would not have my life any other way. Except I would change the location of where we live plus our next home has to have carpet. Otherwise its good.

New Traditions

We decided we would create our own food traditions...

For Chirstmas day we will have grilled burgers with the works.
For New Years Eve we will now eat hotwings.

We like our new traditions because they are OURS. : )

Things We Did the First Day of 2011

*cleaned the church house
*went to Braum's for a " job well done" ice cream
*hung out with the missionaries who just happened to be there also
*oh and, Emily lost a tooth

A New Year

We decided to take a family Christmas photo on New Years Eve.

Happy 2011!!

Do not throw out the old year.
 Remember the past year where memories were made.
 I have had sorrow mingled with joy.
Would I have had it any other way?

At times, but I would not be who I am today. (me)